Aut Viam Inveniam Aut Faciam
by IvyLinkin
Summary: Bella wakes up from her zombie period pissed and very heartbroken. She decides to change her image. Will Edward come back? Will she find out Edward's true feelings for her? OC Bella. Backbone Bella. 3 months after Edward leaves. Story adopted by lilyd09.
1. Waking Up

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer**

**I hope you enjoy my first try at a story having to do with Twilight!**

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When you first wake up everything is scattered and hazy and it takes a minute or two for your brain to figure out what's happening, to gather your surroundings and decide what to do next. Waking up really sucks sometimes. Especially if you're me, Bella Swan, a girl whose mystical boyfriend, Edward Cullen … wince … had dumped three months ago. Yes, waking up and remembering your boyfriend left you and that every minute without him your chest feels like it has a huge hole in it can ruin your day before it even starts.

About a couple of weeks after he left the shock had worn off and I had time to dissect our conversation in the woods. I was of course not happy with what I had discovered. What a lying, bloodsucking bastard! He had led me on for months, used me and played with my feelings and emotions when he had no such feelings towards me. What pissed me off the most was not just his lying, but also that even if he lied to me, I still was very much in love with him. What the hell was wrong with me? What kind of girl loves the boy that lied and left her in the woods? I'll tell you, a girl who has problems, that's who.

Well this crying and moping around ends here. I'm not going to let him ruin my life. I might never get over him, but I still can live my life the best way I can. I still have my friends and Charlie. First things first, I need to get rid of everything that has some connection towards him or his family. Walking to my closet I opened it up and began grabbing objects left and right. His favorite color on me was blue. Everything blue has got to go. I made a pile of everything blue and turned back to my closet. The clothes and shoes Alice had bought me were next. Another pile was made. What was left of my closet was not much. I decided a shopping trip was in order. Great, I thought shopping, its my favorite thing to do. I bit back a sarcastic laugh. Damn, I've changed a lot. I guess anyone in my position would change though. I'm not the only one that has gone through this. Well, beside the part about him being a vampire.

I went downstairs and picked up some trash bags and went back upstairs to fill the trash bags with my clothes, shoes, etc… Carrying the bags to put downstairs, I started to walk towards my door. Before I could make it there though I tripped on something and crashed down hard on the wooden floor. My bags flew from my hands and landed softly, but my landing was hardly soft. I had fallen on my knees and my face had connected with the floor. I turned on my stomach and cursed for a few minutes, glad that Charlie was away fishing with Billy to notice my extreme fall and the curses I was spewing out of my mouth.

Getting my self up took awhile, but I did it. I gathered my clothes that had fallen out of my bags and put them back in. When I had finished that I turned around to find what I had tripped over. At first I didn't see anything, but my hard wood floor, but looking more carefully I could see one of my floorboards had risen up off the floor somewhat. I got down on my hands and knees that were still throbbing and crawled slowly towards the loose floorboard. Reaching the floorboard I grabbed one side of it and pulled upwards. Nothing happened. Trying again I pulled again. Nothing. Deciding to pull one more time before giving up I pulled again. This time the floorboard came up. Peering inside I gently put my hands in and felt around to see if there was something within.

Finally, when I had lost all hope of finding something I felt the coldness and hardness of metal and something papery. Grabbing the items I pulled them up to take a look.

**Review if you liked it.**

**-Topazeyes137-**


	2. Taking action

**Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter. The words in italics is a quote from Twilight.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight saga or any quotes from it. **

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There in my hands was a metal box and an envelope. Putting the envelope aside I tried the latch on the metal box. Opening it carefully I looked inside. What I saw took my breath away and I uttered a small "gasp" in surprise. The pictures I had taken and that I had found missing were stacked in a neat pile in the left side of the box. Gently picking them up I looked through the stack to see if all were there. My breathing became erratic because even though Edward "wince" in this picture had eyes of steel, he was more beautiful than I could of remembered. I knew that he was beautiful, but my memory had not done him justice. I probably sat staring at him for a long while because at that moment my stomach rumbled. Signing softly to myself I got up and went downstairs to grab something to eat. Passing my digital clock I glanced at the time. 12:32 it read and I looked at the clock again in surprise. It was that late already? Dang! I must have been really out of it. Deciding to look at the rest of the items I had found after eating, I walked myself to the fridge. Opening it up I searched for something edible. Seeing nothing I turned to the pantry which I knew had some pop tarts. Strawberry pop tarts were my favorite. Grabbing the pop tarts and a glass of milk I headed to the kitchen table to eat. Eating faster than normal I eagerly threw my trash away and my glass was put in the sink. Deciding to was it later I anxiously walked up the stairs to my bedroom to look at the rest of the items.

Sitting on my bed I grabbed the box and trifled through the rest of the box. Wedged deeply I found a little rectangular velvet box. A jewelry box. Why in the world is there a jewelry box in here? Well it can't hurt to see what's inside it. Opening it up I looked inside. There nestled snugly in black velvet was a silver necklace. What was so remarkable about the necklace was the skinny silver swan pendent hanging on a delicate silver chain. In between the neck and the body of the swan was a beautiful topaz stone that looked exactly like the Cullen's eyes, Edward's "wince" eyes. I touched the chain softly and felt my eyes become blurry from my tears. Had this been a present from Edward? Was he going to give it to me for my birthday, but decided not to when I told him no presents? The pain in my chest became overbearing at my thoughts. I couldn't stop thinking about him and this gift. The necklace was so beautiful and looked really expensive making me believe my guess had been right. Edward had gotten me something. Why would he get me something so perfect and beautiful if he had no feelings for me? I was so confused. Had my assumptions of Edward "wince" lying to me during our whole relationship been wrong?

Suddenly my mind showed me a memory of Edward and me in the schools cafeteria so long ago. Something he said I remembered. It was when we were talking about why one of us loved the other one more. He said that he loved me more because he could leave me. His voice floated in my mind, "_if leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe_." Why couldn't I've remembered that earlier? So he left to protect me? Well, I guess he did so in vain because he hurt me really bad. Wait a minute. That means Edward still loves me. My chest warmed at the thought. I had a few moments of bliss before another emotion overtook the joy. He fucking lied about not loving me to protect me and keep me safe! Well look how that turned out. I bet he is out there somewhere in pain thinking I'm better off without him. That noble jackass! He harmed both of us and wasted a lot of time filled with pain and loss which helped neither of us. The next time I see him I'm going to kick his ass! I had already decided that I as going to see him again. How do I find him? Is he with his family? I thought about that a moment and decided to answer a no to that. I don't think he would be with them and all their depressing thoughts. Especially Alice's and Esme's. I could just picture Alice crying tearlessly onto Jasper's shoulder and Esme doing the same to Carlisle. Alice was my best friend. I bet she was not too happy with Edward right now. Plus Esme had always cared about me like a mother would a daughter. Both of them would have to be really upset which would upset everyone else too. The only one who probably did not care that they'd left would be Rosalie. She had always hated me and I had never knew why. Edward never would tell me. Yes! I can think his name without wincing! The pain had dulled some in my chest. Knowing Edward still loved me had made it heal up some. It still hurt a little because of the absence of him though. So Edward is by himself somewhere alone. Where would he go? I had no idea how to find him or the rest of the Cullen's. I thought a minute about what to do when I suddenly remembered that Alice had visions. Why hadn't she seen me in pain? Knowing Edward he probably told her not to look for me. He did say that it would be like he never existed. Yeah that was better said then done. My chest filled with pain for a minute after that thought.

Maybe if I did something drastic then she would have a vision of me without meaning to. It was perfect. Shit. What do I do that's dangerous in Forks. The danger had left in September, I thought sardonically. Harming myself was out since I hated the smell of blood and the pain that went with it. Motorcycles were out because well I don't have any. Plus they contradicted my no blood thing. Maybe I could jump off something. What is there to jump off of? Besides wouldn't Alice think I was suicidal if she saw me doing something like that? Oh well. If it gets her attention then I don't mind. I was feeling very desperate. Anything to have Edward and the rest of the Cullen's back. Damn, I even missed Rosalie. Her glares and shit freaked me out, but I realized that she was only trying to protect her family. I didn't blame Jasper for trying to kill me or for Edward's departure. Thinking of them leaving made my chest ache. It was Jaspers instinct to kill me and he couldn't always control it. His emotions plus everyone else's didn't help. Maybe he was stronger than they thought. I mean all of them were having bloodlust and put that plus his own and that equals Bella getting hurt and him having bloodlust overload. No wonder he attacked me. Getting back to ways of how to get Alice's attention, I thought about place's near forks. Mainly because I knew of nowhere to go to jump off something that was in Forks. Well, La Push is beside Forks. What could I jump off of in La Push? My brain started thinking back to a couple of days ago.

I remember Charlie telling me about how crazy some of the natives were and how they jumped off of cliffs that were really high. That is so perfect. Why hadn't I thought of that sooner? It could've saved me a lot of time and brain power. Plus I know where the cliffs are. I had seen them when I was younger and when I had been forced to go fishing with Charlie. Now I know why I hadn't remembered about the cliffs. I usually blocked out painful memories. I think I can find them if I look hard enough. Getting up the swan necklace fell off my lap. I picked it up and put the necklace around my neck. I needed it to help me get through this. I was desperately afraid of heights. Maybe I should of thought of that earlier before I made this reckless plan, I thought grimly. No, I made the decision and I'm going through with it. Turning to my closet I grabbed something to wear. A pair of old jeans and a warm light sweater that was the color of the treetops was what I grabbed and put on. Carefully tying the laces of my shoes I stood up and went downstairs.

I was about to go out the door until I saw Charlie's hat. I had forgotten about Charlie. I glanced at the clock and it read 3:01. He wouldn't be home until six and I didn't want him to worry if I wasn't here when he got home. I decided to write him a note. I found a piece of paper and pen and wrote a simple note for Charlie.

Dear Charlie,

I went for a ride. I'll be home soon.

Bella

Putting it on the fridge I opened the door. Damn. Its pouring outside. I grabbed the nearest jacket and I was on my way.

I headed to my truck and got in. shutting the door I cranked up the engine. With the familiar roar of my truck I backed up. Driving carefully I pulled out of my driveway. My thoughts drifted off at the sound of the rain pattering against my windshield. It had a calming affect on me. What if I couldn't find the cliffs? What if Alice wont see me? What if she does? Will Edward come with her to check up on me? What would I say to Edward? My thoughts swirled out in different directions trying to produce answers I did not have. My mind was a jumbled mess. I had to focus. One step at a time. I just need to focus on getting to the cliffs. After that I'll figure out where I'll jump off at.

In no time I had found the cliffs. It wasn't that hard. My memory must be better than I thought. Parking my truck near the side of the road I opened my door and got into the rain. Maybe jumping off a cliff when it was raining was not a good idea. When was it not raining? I couldn't afford to waste anymore time. My heart could not take much more of the absence of Edward. My chest throbbed a little in response to my erratic thoughts. Walking awhile to get to the cliffs took little time. Before I knew it I was at the cliffs.

I stepped carefully onto the ledge of one of the highest cliffs. Why was this a good idea I thought nervously? Think of Edward, I thought. Yes, this would be worth it if I could see Edward again. With that thought I noiselessly jumped off the ledge.


	3. Heartbreaking Discussions

**Hey everyone! I finally updated. Sorry for taking so long. Plus I forgot to mention that on my profile there is the start of a playlist for this story and a link of the inspiration of the necklace Edward got for Bella. I hope you guys like this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight saga. **

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Turning my arms into a diving position, I flew downwards towards the water. The adrenaline and fear pumped heavily in my veins. It felt exhilarating. I couldn't even feel the rain that I knew was pouring down from above. The sight of the water coming ever closer brought the reality of how dangerous this was into the front of my mind. The waves looked more savage and wild up close. Before hitting the water I noticed the large sharp-edged rocks that were scattered closely together in the water. I hit the water with extreme force. The water burned my skin with its icy coldness. My head and body sunk below the surface. I tried to swim to the surface, but my body couldn't work as fast as I wanted it to. My air supply was running low and the waves plowing into me were not helping me get my body the oxygen it needed. What if I can't get to the surface in time? What if I die? A million thoughts of what ifs were floating in my brain. I was running out of time. My body sunk lower into the water. Suddenly I saw Edward in front of me. I just stared at him and thought about how bad it was that I would never get to see him or kiss him again. "Bella," my hallucination of Edward said. "Don't give up! Please try to save yourself." the look on his face was devastatingly sad. Even though I knew he wasn't real I still was given hop by his words. In one last effort I kicked and thrashed my arms trying to reach the surface one more time. My energy was spent and my eyes grew heavy. I tried in vain to open them, but they just wouldn't open. Before everything went black, I heard a loud pain withering growl coming from somewhere very close.

"Please breathe Bella!" A voice so beautiful and breathtaking that I would know it anywhere. Edward. I felt something hard and cold pressing against my chest. What was happening? Was I imagining Edward again? I was so confused. The pressing on my chest became harder and Edward's voice became more urgent in his pleas for me to breathe. Then all of a sudden I was throwing up water. My eyes stung from the salt and so did my throat. The pain was horrible. "Bella," a voice whispered next to me. My attention was brought back to the person that had saved me. I looked up and my heart clenched painfully. There in front of me in all of his glory was Edward. Was I hallucinating again? I didn't think so. He looked way better than my hallucinations. My mind had not done him justice. I looked down and noticed he wasn't wearing any shoes. The pants that he was wearing were tattered and torn in several areas, but none very revealing. The shirt he wore was a deep blue color and looked like it had been ripped or clawed at. Saving the best for last I looked at his beautiful face. His mouth was in a worried frown and his eyes looked troubled and hollow. In fact his eyes were a deep black. He looked like he hadn't eaten or I guess drank anything in weeks. I looked closer and I noticed how gaunt his faced looked. Like he had died and been forced back into the living. Lastly his hair was ruffled and mangled in different directions. Edward did not look well, but he was still so beautiful to me. His voice brought me back out of my ogling. "Bella are you okay? Is anything hurting?" He asked worriedly coming closer to me. I cleared my throat, but I shouldn't have because it hurt like a bitch. I winced in pain. "Bella what is it?" He asked frantically looking me over for injuries. I pointed to my throat and he understood completely. "Oh, your throat. Yes that should hurt for a day or so. You need to drink lots of liquids." I looked at him in amusement. He looked adorable when he was in his doctor mode. "Okay," I rasped wincing with pain. "If your fine except for your throat than we should probably get going." He looked frantically around like he was expecting someone to jump out and say "Boo." If that actually happened I would laugh my ass off. He looked very serious, so I started following him. Before I knew what was happening I was in the air and cold hard arms were carrying me bridal style. "What are you doing Edward?" I rasped at him in annoyance. I mean it wasn't like I was seriously injured or anything. " I'm carrying you so that we can leave faster,' he said giving me a slight smile. Just one smile and my stomach was doing flip flops. Damn! I thought he still affects me so strongly even after all this time. "Close your eyes Bella!" I decided to do what he says for now. I trusted Edward. Closing my eyes I felt the wind fly by me. I was still wet and very cold. I started to shiver badly. I heard Edward whisper "almost there," to me quietly. I signed in relief when the air stopped blowing on my shivering skin. Opening my eyes I looked around trying to see where we were. It took me two seconds for my brain to distinguish where we were. The cream colored walls were a dead giveaway. "Why are we here?" I croaked. " To get you warm and I would feel better if I watched over you for a while," he said searching my eyes for at it was okay or not. "That's fine," I rasped tired from my long day. All the emotion and physical shit was wearing me out. I just wanted to drink some water and to get some sleep. "Do you want some water?" he asked looking into the cabinet for a glass for me to drink from. "Yes." He found a glass and poured some water in it and gave it to me. I grabbed the glass with both hands and drank greedily. It was gone in seconds. He took the glass from my hands and filled it up again and gave it back to me. Taking the glass I sipped it down slower than before. Edwards eyes stared at me and it was starting to freak me out.

"Bella?" "Yes," I replied wondering what eh was going to say. "I lied to you in the woods when me and my family left," he said looking me straight in the eyes. His eyes were open and sincere. I think I knew where this was going, but I wanted him to say it. Say it out loud so I could finally believe what my heart had been telling me since I had found the photos and the necklace. "About what?" I asked trying to look confused. "About not loving you, that I would actually get over you, that I didn't want you. Everything I said to you was a lie and I just hope I'm not too late. That you still love me and haven't moved on." Edwards face was heartbreaking. Many emotions were expressed on his face. Hope, sadness, and eager anticipation for my answer were some of the few I could distinguish. "Of course I haven't moved on, " I said strongly looking him in the eyes. " I love you. I will always love you." my voice never faltered. Edward signed in relief and his face split into my favorite crooked grin that I loved so much. "Do you forgive me? Will you take me back?" he questioned me looking again hopeful. "Yes, but only because I can't live without you," I replied seriously. "Things are going to have to change. The most important are being we need to make decisions together. You may be a vampire, but we need to be equal in this relationship. You need to treat me as your equal. Just because I'm human doesn't mean that my emotions or specifically my love isn't as strong as yours. I may be human, but my love and feelings towards you are stronger than any normal humans. I'm no normal human. You just going to have to except these conditions or our relationship will crumble. No matter how much I love you and can't be without you, I can't be with you romantically if you do not agree to these conditions." I said all of this as seriously as possible and almost started sobbing near the end. " Bella if agreeing to these conditions are what you want for us to be together again, then of course I'll agree to them. Anything else you need will also be excepted. I love you and I'll do anything to get you back and to get you to fully trust me again. Anything," he said staring fiercely into my eyes.

He got on his knees in front of me and started begging in small whispers. "I'll do anything." "I'll do anything." Over and over. It was heartbreaking to watch and I couldn't stand by and watch him like this. It killed me to see him suffer. I gently put my hand on his cheek and said "Edward." He leaned his face against my hand and signed happily. After saying his name a few times he looked up at me. "What?" "You don't have to keep begging. You agreeing to my conditions is enough for now. Plus we can talk about this more later," I said tiredly. He stood up and said " Of course. You must be very tired. Is it okay if I carry you to my bedroom?" Edward asked looking down at me yawning constantly and my eyes were starting to droop. I would usually say no I can walk, but I was so tired. Today had been a very long and tiring. "Sure," I whispered knowing he could hear me anyways. His long pale arms picked me up gently like earlier and walked us up to the stairs. I was almost asleep when we arrived in his room. He put me gently on his couch and grabbed a blanket for me to wrap up in. My clothes had since dried from his running earlier and our talk downstairs. I bundled deep into the blankets. He started to walk off when I grabbed his hand pleadingly him to stay with me. I knew he wouldn't leave me, but I couldn't help but think about how this could be all a dream. I wanted to see him when I woke up. I wanted to wake up in his arms. Smell his mouthwatering scent. He got another blanket and picked me up and laid down with his back to the couch and placed my back against his chest. He spread the blanket on top of us and wrapped his arms loosely around me. I signed contently. Everything started to get foggy. All of the adrenaline from my cliff jump had long since gone away. I closed my eyes and thought about that when I had woken up that morning I had no idea that Edward still loved me. I had been depressed and angry, but now in Edward's arms I could finally be at peace. The large hole in my chest was long gone. If I hadn't of felt the pain for these long months I wouldn't of guessed that there had ever been a hole. Before I succumbed to sleep my last thought was of Edward. I drifted off to sleep in peace for the first time in three months with a smile on my face.

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**What did you guys think? Please review for me so I can know what you thought about the chapter. If you have any suggestions then just send me a message. Thats all for at least a week.**


	4. Author's Note

**Sorry to all my readers, but I'm going to have to put this story up for adoption. I just can't seem to get back in the mood for writing this. So if anyone wants this story they can send me a message. You can either continue where I left off or start anew and change it to how you want it. Again I'm very sorry to all my readers.**


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